You want to help people. I do, too. One way to help people is by giving advice. But there are some definite downsides to giving advice:
- You might irritate someone by giving unsolicited advice.
- Your advice might work for you and not for the person you’re talking to.
- If someone takes your advice and it doesn’t work, that might harm your relationship.
- Giving advice doesn’t target developing the person into a better problem solver—it targets solving the immediate problem.
I don’t want to irritate people, give advice that doesn’t work, put my relationships at risk, or only solve the immediate problem. I want people to solve their own problems by developing as problem solvers. So, I strive to refrain from giving advice.
Question: How often do you refrain from giving advice?
- Consistently?
- Usually?
- Sometimes?
- Rarely?
Strive to consistently refrain from giving advice. Strive to consistently focus on what others think in order to help them become better problem solvers. When you are tempted to give advice or when you find yourself focusing on what you are thinking, ask an open-ended question instead:
- What’s your goal?
- What’s going on?
- What are your options?
- What will you do?
Question: What action steps will you take to ensure that you consistently refrain from giving advice?
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